You Are Not the Person You Were — and That’s a Good Thing (Updated for 2025)
You are being reborn every day at the rate of 100 billion new cells
Yoga and meditation can be extremely healing practices for trauma survivors. With time and practice, they can rewire your brain, undoing the damage caused to regions like your hippocampus, amygdala, and prefrontal cortex. They certainly helped in my recovery — and the other day in meditation, I had a revelation that I immediately had to share.
You are not the person you were when the trauma occurred.
Not in a figurative, metaphorical sense. In a very real, literal, physical one.
That means two exciting things:
- You are already reborn
- Through your work on the yoga mat, you are creating yourself and a whole new, beautiful life.
The Endless Cycle of Death and Rebirth Is Happening Right Here, Right Now
The recent loss of a beloved family member shook me deeply. I’ve taken comfort in studying the Buddhist philosophy of death and rebirth. One of my favorite ways to self-soothe is to wander the Sedona red rock wilderness while listening to dharma talks.
I was listening to a recording by Thich Nhat Hanh that I had listened to before but which always brings me comfort. Plus, you always learn something new.
I heard him say, “The cycle of death and rebirth is happening right now.” I heard him mention how the cells of your body continually die while new ones are born —
billions of them daily — but we do not die when a single cell perishes.
Previously, I had always taken those words in terms of comfort. The spirit, the energy continues in the patterns we establish, long after the body descends into dust. I hadn’t connected it with trauma.
For whatever reason, my mind was on the topic that morning, and the revelation that followed stopped me dead in my tracks and brought a bit of water to my eye.
I’m a sexual assault survivor. However, at that moment, I realized something more. The “me” that endured the attack
no longer even existed.
I’m not talking metaphorically. 1011 of your cells die and are replaced by new ones each day. They’re replaced by brand-spanking new ones, as pure as those in a newborn infant. One hundred billion brand new cells.
Cells my assailant had never touched.
I am quite literally
no longer the woman he assaulted.
Now, that’s a comforting thought!
But I Thought Nerve Cells Didn’t Regenerate?
One of the first things you learn about healing trauma through yoga is that “memories” get trapped in your somatic nervous system. Neurons are a unique kind of cell. For decades, scientists preached one mantra: nerve cells do not regenerate.
If neurons don’t regenerate, and trauma gets trapped in your nervous system, then how on earth can you say that you aren’t the same person? After all, you still have nerves, so it must mean those cells remain the same, right?
Not necessarily.
New
research into the brain shows that neurogenesis does, in fact, occur. It slows down as you get older, and the process becomes murky in people with dementia, but you continue to make new nerve cells until at least age 97, and probably your entire lifespan.
It gets better. Guess what part of your brain is responsible for neurogenesis? The trusty old hippocampus, a critical
part of your HPA axis and a primary player in memory formation. It’s also one of the principal brain structures affected by regular yoga practice.
By engaging in calming, soothing meditative practices on the mat, you’re allowing those new neurons to be born into a welcoming, positive headspace. Continued work on the mat nurtures them as these baby neurons form new connections in your brain. I can’t pretend to understand how it all works. Even neuroscientists can’t. However, the implications give me hope.
What Does All This Mean for Your Yoga Practice and Healing Trauma Through Yoga?
I’ll admit, I was a member of the “nerve cells don’t regenerate” school of thought, and spent the rest of that morning’s wanderings knee-deep in TED talks from various neuroscientists about the issue of neurogenesis. My brain raced through the implications as I listened to one highly educated researcher explain practical lifestyle tips for encouraging your brain to grow new nerve cells.
My soul, however, was skipping along and rejoicing. I
knew yoga healed. I feel the results every day, as I gradually become less reactive, less impulsive, and less able to be blown over by fate’s slightest whim. However, I also know that subjective feelings are lousy scientific evidence.
Here I had proof. It matters little that it might not be 100% true — I have no idea at the rate specific cells are replaced, how many I still have from that day, etc. Nowadays, I feel like I can feel the precious new baby neurons growing as I flow through the asanas.
Researchers remain unclear on exactly how yoga impacts your hippocampus, but fMRI studies of yogis and meditators show a decided
bilateral increase in volume in this brain structure. I now think of talking to my mat as taking a prenatal vitamin! Only, the baby I’m creating is me, reborn and renewed, as I nurture my brain with the ideal environment for neurogenesis to occur.
The best part? When you talk to the mat, you go deep inside yourself. This exercise can be scary, but it can also help you mindfully answer the question, “Who am I? Who do I want to become?” Your answers, as you flow through asanas and meditate, become who you are — not only in a spiritual sense but a very real, physical one. You are guiding your body’s rebirth.
I’m not going to pretend this process isn’t hard or doesn’t require ongoing mindfulness. Every mother knows that bringing new life into the world entails pain — but it is worth it. Talking to your mat is creating that new life. What do you want to become?
You Are Being Reborn Right Now — You Are Not the Same Person You Were When the Trauma Happened
If you are a fellow trauma survivor, I hope this revelation comforts you as much as it does me. You are not the same person you were when the trauma happened. The process of death and rebirth is happening in the here and now — you have brand new cells all over your body, including neurons.
Through practice, you can influence the neurogenesis process. Who do you want to be? Decide, and give new life to yourself by talking to the mat.
