Rest in Power, Lioness and Yoga Cat Squeeks

Squeeks never wore a cape. In fact, she would have shredded the fool who tried to tie one on her. 

However, she was the biggest hero who ever lived. With the biggest heart. Right next to her brother, Poe. 

Squeeks (and Poe) saved my life more times than I can count. I mean that quite literally. While I now know it’s “bad” to express suicidal ideation because of the impact it has on those who do care about you, that knowledge was never enough to stop me from wanting to die. When things were at their worst, when I had lost everything to health issues no one would believe, that even the people closest to me accused me of faking, when I felt reduced to nothing but a ball of pain to be kicked around for other people’s enjoyment, one thing made me draw my next breath: the three cats whose lives depended on mine: my Squeeks, Onyx and Poe. 

Now Onyx is with Ed, and they make each other very happy every day. And that knowledge brings me joy. 

But oh, my Squeeks. I love you so so much. 

I’ll never forget the first time I saw you. You popped out of that carrier with a tiny, indignant, “Me!” And just like that, you melted my heart, as the words “Oh, she Squeeks,” fell from my lips. And the name stuck. 

Your first daddy is gone, now, too, but oh, how you brought us both so much joy. You, my beautiful angel kitty, were the one bright spot in our miserable lives. How you delighted us with your antics! How we loved to sing, “I’m…the cat…in the box…” every time you found cardboard in just the right size and shape. Even teaching you to use the litter box (cause “everyone knows who the kitty is…”) was a joy. You were so young when we got you, but even then, so independent. Getting you to take the kitten milk was never easy. 

You were always so sassy, my Squeeks. I used to joke about having a “guard cat.” But it was no joke. You are a little lion in every sense of the word, and it’s not just your beautiful mane that you both loved and hated to have brushed. It’s your attitude. I don’t have to wonder if you would stand between me and an attacker. You proved yourself so many times. It’s a miracle I was able to keep you safe, so determined you were to save me. 

You are my hero, Squeeks. 

For months, we have prayed. We’ve given you “the medicine” with a song and a smile. We’ve hoped for a few more years. 

But now, every day has become pain and suffering for you. And that is not fair. Please know I will always be with you. Please know that I will never, ever, stop looking to find you again, just like I looked for and found your new dad. Just like you looked for and found me. Our hearts are forever entwined, “We are the sugar tits!” And I will always, always love you. 

We should all be so lucky to die at home, in our beds, surrounded by the people we love. I am glad I am able to give you that final gift at least. It still doesn’t seem fair, not after all you have given me. 

Goodbye for now, my sweet child, but not forever. 

Only one thing is real, and that’s love. 

And I love you forever, Squeeks. 

Rest in Power, Lioness Squeeks: June 25, 2011 — January 27, 2026. ❤️